How to Cope When You Are Alone on Your Birthday

By Arlin Cuncic, About.com Guide

Birthdays are generally fun when you are a child. As you grow older, birthdays become a nuisance for some in that they are a reminder that you are getting older. For people who suffer with social anxiety disorder (SAD), they can also be a reminder that you are on your own. Here are some tips to cope if you find yourself alone on your birthday.

    Give yourself a makeover. Whether you are a man or a woman, your birthday is a great chance to give yourself a makeover on the outside and the inside. Treat yourself to a new outfit, new hairstyle, and anything else that will give you a boost of confidence. Read books to work on coping with social anxiety so that you will not be alone on future birthdays.

    Bake a cake. Even if no one is coming over, that doesn't mean you can't bake yourself a cake. Don't take a shortcut and buy a storemade version; the goal is to take your time and enjoy the process of baking. Feel proud of what you have accomplished. Share leftovers with a neighbor and you will have the chance to make a new friend.

    Treat yourself. If you aren't expecting any gifts, why not treat yourself to something new? Choose a gift that might help you with your social anxiety such as chamomile tea, or buy yourself something that you have wanted for a while.

    Go hiking. Exercise is a great way to clear your mind and hiking outdoors gives you a chance to connect with nature at the same time. You can feel good about spending your birthday out of the house and doing something good for your health and your mind. If you have a dog, all the better; bring him along and let his natural joy and curiosity lead the way.

    Go see a movie. Treat yourself to a night out at the movies even if you have no one to go with. If you want to lift your spirits, choose a comedy at a time when the theatre will be full. Laugh out loud with everyone else and you won't feel so alone.

    Volunteer. If you are really feeling down about being alone on your birthday, consider offering your services as a volunteer. Spending time chatting with folks at an old age home or offering to walk dogs at an animal shelter are two ways that you can be productive and feel good on your birthday. You might even make new friends and become a regular volunteer. Be sure to call in advance to learn about any requirements prior to volunteering.

    Read. Your birthday is a great time to sit down with a good book. If you have no other plans, at least start that novel or non-fiction book you have had on your list. Your birthday is yours to spend how you choose, and curled up with a good book can be a rewarding day in and of itself.

    Follow your normal routine. If you are really feeling down about having no one to spend your birthday with, consider making it just like any other day. Go about your usual routine, and don't mention to anyone that it is your birthday. This strategy works best if you are not much into birthday celebrations anyway.

    Plan a party for next year. Start thinking about next year if you don't want to be alone on your birthday again. Are there relatives you could visit or friends that you could invite over for dinner? Take the year to make new connections so that you don't find yourself alone again this time next year.

    Be appreciative. Birthdays are a reminder that we are all on the earth for a limited time. Make the most of each day and be appreciative of the little things that make you happy. You never know what is around the corner and how many birthdays you have left.

Create an Online Wish List

Setting up an electronic wish list during the holidays can be extremely helpful. It can reduce duplicate gifts and ensure that your child receives age-appropriate toys he or she will really play with.

However, if you're going to utilize wish lists, it's also important to teach your child how they work, so that he or she understands that they're optional. Rather than being a "must-buy" list or a "guaranteed to receive" list, wish lists merely provide suggestions for those friends and relatives that ask what your child might like to receive.

Pros of Using a Wish List:

    Decrease the chances that your child will receive items she already owns

    Reduce toy clutter, since your child will theoretically receive items he really wants

    It's also an opportunity to introduce some items you'd like to see your child start playing with

Cons of Using a Wish List:

    It could be misinterpreted if you send it friends and relatives unsolicited

    Your child could get the impression that she's entitled to all of the items on the list

    Store-generated wish lists can be limiting if items quickly sell out

Tips for Using Wish Lists:

    Discuss the wish list with your child

    Explain that it's a list of suggestions

    Make the list together and include your child's input

    Include a wide range of items which reflect your child's interests

    Don't forget to include low-cost items

    Only share the list with people who ask you what your kids might like to receive

    Consider using an Internet-based wish list that allows you to include items from many different retailers

The following Web sites offer free wish list services:

MyGiftList.com

    You can create a wish list with items from any store

    Visitors to your wish list can see what's already been purchased

    You can create different categories of potential givers, so that not everyone sees the entire wish list at once

    For each item you add to the list, you can include up to three web addresses and a detailed description of where the item can be purchased

    You can also add your favorite charities to your list, in case you'd like friends and family to make a donation on your behalf


ChristmasWishList.net

    Allows you to include items from any store

    Include an optional shopping link so visitors can easily purchase items online

    Rank items by their importance

    You can also create groups with your family members and friends and view one another's wish lists


ListIdeas.com

    Easy to set up

    Allows you to add a button to your browser's toolbar so that you can just click "Add to ListIdeas" as you browse the Internet

    Allows you to create several unique wish lists under one account

    Allows you to add items from any store

By Jennifer Wolf, About.com Guide

Top Wish List Websites

Gift registries used to be available only for weddings, but soon they opened up for baby showers as well. Now you can create a registry, or wish list, for any

occasion. Create one for each of your kids and make birthdays and holidays less stressful for relatives.

This list is comprised of the top gift registry sites. The best sites have a wide range of products available and are easy to use. If you'll be making gift lists for

your children, you'll also want the option to create multiple lists.
Amazon.com
Amazon was one of the first sites that encouraged the creation of personal wish lists for birthdays and holidays. Although you are limited to the products

that Amazon carries, they have enough variety for a fun wish list, especially for kids. In addition to books, CDs and movies, you can find clothes, electronics,

household items, tools, furniture and even grocery items. As a bonus, Amazon.com has great discounts and free shipping on many of their products.
Visit Amazon.com
Ads

Kaboodle
Kaboodle combines the elements of a classic wish list with the community building aspects of social networking sites. Install a bookmarklet in your browser

and you can quickly and easily add cool things you see as you browse the web. Friends can "reserve" items on your list so others don't buy duplicates.
Visit Kaboodle

List Ideas
List Ideas allows you to add items from any website that interests you using a simple bookmarklet. You can share your list with others, browse other wish

lists for ideas, and even add your list to your blog or website.

Visit List Ideas
boxedup.com
boxedup.com is another wishlist-meets-social-networking site with the option to add lists to MySpace pages, Friendster, Facebook and hi5. Add items as

you browse the web with an easy-to-install bookmarklet.
Visit boxedup.com

WishList.com
WishList.com is a basic wish list site without any of the social networking bells and whistles some other sites have. That said, in addition to using a

bookmarklet to add items, you can use a camera phone to send items directly to your account while out shopping. WishList.com also has several thousand

stores available to shop with.

From Christy Matte

Advice Every Mom And Dad Can Use

Being an effective parent can sometimes be a daunting task - being charged with the responsibility of caring for another life is a great responsibility, after all. Throw in sleepless nights, plenty of temper tantrums, and unexpected expenses, and the average parent is often left feeling confused and overwhelmed sometimes.

When teaching your teenager to drive, the key is practice, practice, practice. Try to plan specific skills to go over each time you go out with them- coinciding with skills learned in a driver's ed program if possible. Make sure to test them in various types of inclement weather like fog, rain, snow, and the like.

A great parenting tip is to be aware of how your actions can influence your child. If you curse a lot at home, don't be surprised if your child gets suspended or sent home from school for bad behavior. Always try to set a good example for your child.

As a parent it's your job to encourage character growth. Children are often inexperienced and need someone to guide them through new tasks and experiences. All you need to do is set the ball rolling and people along their way will help guide them through the rest. It's a small investment to advise your kid, but a more profitable one to physically set them on the path.

If you are trying to keep track of your baby's feedings, nap cycles, diaper changes and many other things, try locating one of the great apps that are available for smart phones. It will make it quite simple to keep track of the many things that a baby needs during the day.

To make hair washing an easier process, pretend like your child is visiting a hair salon. Allow her to lay her head up to the sink and place a towel underneath her neck. Give your child a head massage while you are rinsing her hair. Engaging in imaginative play, will make this task fun for your child.

Let your child go barefoot as much as possible. There are multitudes of adorable footwear these days to adorn your little ones tootsie's, but for the health of baby's feet, barefoot is the way to go. Many pediatricians suggest that non-constraint of a child's feet will promote their natural growth and your child would probably say it's a lot more comfortable, anyway!

If you want your child to have a healthy emotional intelligence, make sure to validate their emotions and discuss emotional expression with them. Children learn when it is appropriate and inappropriate to express emotion - show them that emotions are a natural and valid means of expressing our feelings by labeling emotions for them, discussing both their and your emotional expressions, and validating their feelings.

Learning how to be an effective parent, and how to strengthen your relationship with your child, is a lifelong process. This article has presented numerous tried and true suggestions for developing healthy patterns of parenting, and we hope that they will be helpful to you as you engage in the process of developing yourself as a parent.